Its a magical time of year. Or is it times
of year? Its hard to say for those who have never belonged
to the Girl Scouts of America, but every now and then someone
will drop the chocolate-covered, peanut-buttery, thinnish-minty
bomb that Girl Scout cookies are for sale. Your Mountain Times
staffers are either too old or male to join the Girl Scouts, but
that doesnt stop us from scrounging our hard-earned Roosevelt
dimes to go halfsies on a scrumptious box of Peanut Butter Patties.
As journalists, were more accustomed to just peanuts, but,
in celebration of the Girl Scouts, their well-baked initiative
and cookies in general, here are some of our favorite doughy confections.
Admit
it. Youre kooky for Cookie Crisp.
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Growing up, I loved the breakfast cereal. Since
Im older now, Im bound by elder doctrine to add the
before certain nouns. But the breakfast cereal always played a
major role as part of my well-balanced breakfast. Balanced, I
suppose, is the keyword, implying some semblance of nutrition
is involved when breaking ones fast. This means that parents
seldom let their younger tikes draft their own breakfast menus,
such as fried waffles smeared with chocolate syrup, peanut butter
and sprinkles, which is likely now available at your local Hardees.
While typical parents would scoff at such a suggestion, the folks
at General Mills have seemed to embrace it by way of Cookie Crisp
breakfast cereal consisting of miniature chocolate chip
cookies. Just add milk.
I recall first seeing a commercial for the cereal when I was six,
featuring the cartoon Cookie Crook being pursued by the relentless
Officer Crumb, also known as the Cookie Cop. Though the Cookie
Crook may never have gotten away with the loot (cookies), the
animated neer-do-well stole the hearts and jacked the appetites
of children nationwide. With taglines like Little cookies
you cant resist and Its like lots and
lots of little chocolate chip cookies for breakfast, what
else could one expect? While I was captivated by the concept,
my parents werent swayed. They opted for Cinnamon Toast
Crunch, Capn Crunchs Peanut Butter Crunch and Lucky
Charms. Sure, all had enough sugar to twice cover a ski slope,
but none were quite as blatant about it as Cookie Crisp. To my
elementary chagrin, our cabinets were seldom stocked with Crisp,
as the neighborhood dough-heads called it, but this merely served
to double my pleasure when my folks would indulge my cookie cravings
with a bowl or two. And you can darn sure bet I drank the milk.

My 10 years as a Girl Scout may make my selection
of favorite cookie somewhat biased. Not only are Girl Scout cookies
incredibly delicious (my favorites are the Peanut Butter Patties),
they also played a major role in my childhood.
I remember when my parents would take my sister and me door to
door to sell cookies in the neighborhood. No adult was safe from
our solicitation, whether they be our school teachers, members
of our church, relatives or my parents coworkers.
Reminiscing on cookie sales with my mother, she reminded me of
one especially prosperous year during the time when she had returned
to college to become a CPA. We approached her professors and one
of them bought enough cookies to earn the name Dr. Niceperson,
a derivative of his real name, Dr. Nicewater.
In addition to the cookie selling experience, the proceeds of
those sales went toward troop activities that dramatically broadened
my horizons and shaped the way I think about the world and my
place in it.
We would take trips that went beyond your typical camp out (though
we still had plenty of those). My troop would go skiing or white
water rafting. We traveled to Washington, D.C., and Savannah,
the birth place of Girl Scouts. We did volunteer projects throughout
the community.
Thanks to the Girl Scouts, independence and a sense of civic responsibility
were instilled in me and my companions at a young age. When I
was the only kid in my class, male or female, to have gone rappelling,
it became clear that my gender should not play a part in my decisions
to seek out adventure; nor should it be a reason to second guess
my abilities.
I cant help but look back at some of the things I have done
in my adult life (my career, travels in as distant places as China
and volunteering with OASIS, just to name a few) and think about
how much my childhood experiences influenced me. Girl Scout cookies
may be rich in flavor, but they helped me, and thousands of other
girls, lead rich lives.

Cookies,
milk and a classic western go together like Lee Van Cleef
and glaring.
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Its impossible! You are now reading the words
of a self-confessed sugar junkie. Asking me to pick one favorite
cookie is like asking a parent to pick a favorite child. This
concept is, as the great Vizzini exclaimed in the classic film
The Princess Bride, inconceivable.
Okay, since we have identified that I cannot have a monogamous
relationship with just one cookie, lets create the mood
in which my cookies of choice are enjoyed. Warm, right out of
the oven, and with a large glass of milk. To say that this treat
is best enjoyed while wearing pajamas and curled up on the sofa
with a classic western on the tube goes without saying. This combination
is unbeatable. Whether its enduring a bad day at work, finding
out that your check engine light equates to an empty wallet light
... warm cookies and milk will heal what ails you.

You
know you want it.
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Mmmmm... cookies. I absolutely love to cook, however,
I do not bake for one single reason. OK, two reasons if you count
last Thanksgivings exploding pie episode. Raspberries, blackberries
and strawberries everywhere - my oven resembled a slaughterhouse
for innocent fruit. It took working in shifts to clean that mess.
Back to my baking boycott, cookies and brownies, once mixed, do
not ever find their way to the oven in my house. The baking pan
is intercepted by a wooden spoon. Who can deny the tempting creaminess
of uncooked batter or dough?
Once the ingredients are mixed, or even better just the
tube of chocolate chip cookie dough, I suddenly become an addict,
unable to control the impulse to lick the bowl.
Like any addiction, it accelerates. I have now discovered the
joy of pouring fudge syrup on chocolate chip cookie dough. I am
quite certain this is unhealthy.
I hear my grandmas voice in the background warning, Youll
get worms if you eat raw eggs. I do not know the validity
of this claim, having never researched it. The cookie dough industry
warns customers not to eat it raw, but who listens to them? Life
is about risks.
I have eaten my fair share of dough without becoming ill. Although,
raw eggs and salmonella aside, a sugar-crash awaits the guilty.
And thus, I have given up my cookie-dough, and equally tempting
brownie mix, addiction. Fudge-covered sugar does seem to counteract
my exercise regiment, and I believe health advocates promoting
a raw diet do not include eggs.
Now, I must settle for the occasional chocolate chip cookie dough
ice cream treat, in which the eggs are fully pasteurized and safe
for consumption. It takes all the fun out of rebellious bowl-licking.

Try
to resist buying Girl Scout cookies from Miranda. We dare
you.
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Being the parental shepherd of a seven-year-old
who looks dangerously cute in a Brownie vest, I have to balance
my discouraging her career as a corporate shill against the crumbly
deliciousness of cookies. In other words, I am stuck buying as
many boxes as it takes to get her to the next level.
Which basically means she gets to choose as many boxes of cookies
as she wants, and this year the new CinnaSpins are the simply-must-haves.
Personally, I like the Caramel deLites, which had to twist away
from their former nomenclature of Samoas for some sort of politically
sensitive reasoning, although the nation of Caramel and the minor
dukedom of deLite are allegedly filing grievances against the
Girls Scouts of America Council over the registered trademark.
Actually, the different name brands are made by different companies,
though the cookies taste the same otherwise, despite the split
in geography. Can the island territory of Do-Si-Do break from
their pacific nature and also mount a challenge?

When it comes to cookies, Im an old fashioned
kind of guy. Give me a homemade molasses cookie, ginger snap or
lemon wafer, and Im in heaven. I remember when I was in
kindergarten, we had to bring baked goods to class for our holiday
parties. My mom would make chocolate chip cookies using M&Ms
instead of chocolate chips. These kinds of cookies are old-hat
nowadays, but were on the cutting edge of cookie technology in
the mid-60s. For years, I claimed that my mom invented the idea.
A little research, however, revealed that she used a recipe that
was printed on the side of the large bag of M&Ms.
Over the years Ive tasted just about every cookie on the
market. IMHO, the Oreo is the most overrated cookie ever developed.
The outer part doesnt really taste like chocolate and the
middle part tastes like a 50/50 mixture of lard and white sugar.
There used to be a cookie called the Hydrox that was similar to
the Oreo, but Sunshine Biscuits stopped making it about five years
ago. It had a wafer that wasnt as good as the Oreos,
but an inside cream that had a unique coconut flavor.
My favorite Girl Scout cookies are the Caramel deLites, which
are little rings of wafer, caramel, chocolate and coconut. Caramel
deLites used to be called Samoas. I dont know why the name
was changed a couple of years ago but I suspect it was a politically
correct move designed to appease the powerful Samoan-American
cookie-eating lobby.
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