An apple a day keeps the doctor away. This is especially true if the doctor is allergic to apples and the patient routinely throws fruit at him or her. There are bushels of apple idioms, some more rotten than others (case in point), but since this year’s apple harvest is well under way, it’s to be expected. The Southern Appalachian Historical Association’s Apple Festival is coming up Oct. 11, meaning that apples will abound in Watauga. Your Mountain Times staff has a few suggestions on what to do with ’em.

Frank Ruggiero: Bobbing for Trouble

While bobbing for apples has never been one of my favorite pastimes, the very concept is fascinating to the

Anyone (or thing) could be bobbing for apples.

core – plunging one’s head into a tub of saliva-infused water, mouth agape like some pained, groaning walrus, trying to sink one’s teeth into a slippery surface that has already braved countless similar attempts. Not to mention that for all the effort involved, an apple-bobber may finish with only a dripping set of someone’s dentures, or the common cold, to show for it. Apple bobbing seemingly contradicts its category of “good clean fun,” and is probably not endorsed by the American Dental Association.

Most fun is dirty, anyhow, but a sanitary version of apple bobbing simply does not seem feasible, unless the water is chlorinated or replaced with grain alcohol. One might as well bob for olives in a tub of gin, and why didn’t I think of that in college?

Therein lays the catch. What’s unique about this game is that it only involves apples, for what other fruits are fit for bobbing? Berries would be a chocking hazard, bananas are cumbersome (though they do have appeal), oranges have too thick a rind, and coconuts, well, only a madman or Gilligan would attempt that. Only apples seem to fit the bill. We’ll save vegetables and meat products for another day.

Jeff Eason: The Littlest Star

Ever since Eve took a bite out of the forbidden apple, looked over at Adam and cried, “Egad, man, throw a fig

The apple apartment of the Littlest Star.

leaf on that thing,” people have been talking about apples. One of my favorite apple stories is that of the golden apple of discord that Eris, the goddess of anarchy and strife, threw into the wedding party of Peleus and Thetis. It was inscribed “To the most beautiful.” Three of the goddess bridesmaids, Hera, Athena and Aphrodite, immediately got into a mythic slap-fest fighting over the apple. LOL, Eris, LOL. Apples have also added greatly to the biographies of Isaac Newton, William Tell and, of course, Johnny Appleseed.

Probably the first story I can remember hearing about apples goes something like this: Once upon a time, far up in the sky, lived the Littlest Star. She was so small that no one on Earth could see her. Every night she would shine as bright as she could, but she was too small to be seen among the other big stars in the universe. One day her father caught her crying about her predicament and asked her about it. When the Littlest Star told him that she wanted to be seen from Earth, he said, “You are not the first little star to have this problem. You should do what many of them did and move to Earth. That way, you can take a position at night that is closer to the planet and people will see and make wishes on you.”

That cheered up the Littlest Star. Then she asked her father, “But where will I live in the daytime?” He said, “Don’t worry, there are plenty of homes on Earth for little stars like you. They are red and yellow and green. You’ll know when you find yours.”

So the Littlest Star came to Earth and found a home, just like all the other little stars. That’s why, if you cut an apple through the middle, you’ll see where the Littlest Star has been. The end.

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Melanie Davis: Making Apple butter

There is a fall tradition that began with my grandmother and will continue with me – making apple butter.

“Bubble, bubble, apples and trouble.”

I remember the copper kettle and open fire from my childhood, and now I am the proud owner of that kettle. I was so excited to gather the wood and kick off the celebration.

I have altered the tradition somewhat from my grandmother. When she made apple butter, family members were gathered to participate in the eight hours of constant stirring.

The family is considerably smaller these days. It will be a tradition of friends now, a potluck picnic for a full day. We set up the horseshoes and brought out a Frisbee to make a party out of it.

I peeled, sliced and froze gallons of apples, with the help of my mom and a friend who peeled at the rate of one apple per hour. She’s good company, just not proficient in the art of peeling anything.

The only rule of the party was you had to take your turn as the stirrer in order to take apple butter home. It was a BYOJ party – bring your own jars.

I hit a few snags in the first apple butter event that will certainly be avoided in the future. For scheduling reasons, we hosted everyone in early September. Imagine, if you will, 15 friends by a fire for hours in 80 degree weather. I underestimated the amount of wood necessary to maintain a boiling kettle, so there was a mid-afternoon wood run. There were also two gallons of apple pieces that never made it out of the freezer; I thought I was making enough to live on. What can I say – I am learning to take over the tradition.

We ended the day sunburned but satisfied. Everyone left with at least three pints each of apple butter. I had a box of pint jars that I am still eating. I suppose there won’t be a need for apple butter cooking this year.

That is a little disappointing. I will miss hot apple butter on hot biscuits. Maybe next year, and in late October.

Cara Kelly: An Apple for Every Dish

Cara plans to make this into a breakfast cereal somehow.

To me, apples seem to be one of those wonder foods that can be used on or for just about anything in the cooking world. My friend, Rachel, has often joked that anytime she visits my apartment for dinner, my roommates and I have incorporated apples into at least one dish. I have an incredibly hard time nailing down my exact favorite apple dish, but I think I would have to say that my mom’s apple pies are the ultimate apple trump card. I have extremely fond memories of helping her cut apples and coat them in cinnamon and sugar before putting them in the freshly rolled crust. I also have less fond memories of getting popped with a wooden spoon after eating nearly half of the delicious cinnamon-sugar coated slices.

Several restaurants and fruit stands in the High Country have, however, sufficiently satisfied my apple cravings. Melanie’s Food Fantasy’s apple butter spread on hearty grain bread is superb, no matter how stuffed you may be from the rest of their delectable food. I have also recently discovered a new favorite sandwich at Our Daily Bread, the brie and apple BLT. The brie plate at Tupelo’s is also a personal favorite and a regular splurge for me, with buttery baked brie served on a bed of apple and orange slices. Then there are the candied apples and fresh apple cider at the roadside stands on 321. Who can resist nearly chipping their teeth on the sweet and crunchy goodness of candy-coated apples? I, for one, do not have that much willpower. So, there is a brief overview of my favorite apple preparations. I obviously have a lot of eating to do this season.