High Country Christmas Trees Under Attack

Hammacher Schlemmer Selling Pre-Lit Inverted Trees This Year

One of the things I love about living in the High Country is its unique mix of old and new lifestyles. If you want to go to a gourmet restaurant, there are plenty to visit around Banner Elk, Boone, Blowing Rock and other towns. If you want to grab a barbecue sandwich and a bottle of Cheerwine for a picnic on the Blue Ridge Parkway, well you can do that too.

Although very few people in this area still make their living from farming, it is a traditional lifestyle that continues to this day. The High Country’s primary agricultural exports include tobacco, cabbage and Christmas trees.

Jessica and Brandon Russell of Summerfield, North Carolina do the right thing by choosing a High Country Christmas Tree. They picked a winner at What Fir! Christmas Tree Farm in Boone. Photo by Marie Freeman

Of those three, you’d have to say that Christmas tree farming has the most romantic allure attached to it. Tobacco farming has a colorful history in the western part of the state but it’s hard to overcome the stigma that comes with emphysema and lung cancer. It’s also a little tough to work up much enthusiasm for cabbage. Hey, I enjoy a good batch of coleslaw or sauerkraut as much as the next guy, but I’ll admit that cabbage is probably not on most kids’ top ten list of favorite vegetables.

But Christmas trees, O Christmas trees. Just driving by the pretty rows of Christmas trees growing on the mountainsides up here is a thrill. Like the vast rows of corn found in the Midwest, our Christmas trees are lined up in neat military rows waiting to invade the living rooms of America.

This year one of our Christmas trees from neighboring Alleghany County will stand guard over the presidential presents in the White House’s Blue Room in Washington, D.C. The 18.5-foot-tall Fraser fir was grown by the Deal Family at Smokey Hollar Tree Farm in Laurel Springs and was presented to First Lady Laura Bush in a ceremony on Monday, November 28th. It marks the first time that a North Carolina Christmas tree has been displayed at the White House since 1997.

I can just picture President Bush running down the stairs in his presidential pajamas with the feet in them on Christmas morn to see what Santa has left him under the majestic Fraser fir.

I’m pleased that our president has chosen a real tree from a North Carolina Christmas tree farm and I hope that many Americans follow his lead. For you see, our Christmas trees have competition from a variety of nefarious sources this year…

That’s right, our trees may be prettier, healthier, and more piney smelling than all others, but that doesn’t keep the competition from coming up with slick new ways of marketing their second-rate crud. According to the Associated Press, upscale retailer Hammacher Schlemmer (a name virtually reeking of Third Reich connections) sold out of its “$599.95 pre-lit inverted tree” before the end of October. The company is selling these upside-down trees as a novelty and by convincing unsuspecting costumers that Santa Claus can fit more presents under a tree suspended from the ceiling. Another firm, an online tree seller known as www.christmastreeforme.com, has already sold out of two of its four upside-down models.

People, people, people. I held my tongue when corporations started selling pre-lit and pre-decorated Christmas trees. I personally feel like decorating your own holiday tree is the birthright of all humans. But I can see how some people might be intimidated by the advanced 21st century technology involved with a string of Christmas tree lights. In fact I know several people who should never be allowed anywhere near electrical appliances…ever. (The UL has these folks on a special watch list).

But hanging your Christmas tree upside-down? That ain’t right. It is, quite definitively, against nature. When you show me a real tree in its natural environment with its roots reaching to the sky and its branches hanging down, then—and only then—will I entertain the notion of an upside-down Christmas tree.

And this whole idea of being able to get more presents under such a tree is utter marketing hogwash. When you spend $600 on an upside-down tree from Hammacher Schlemmer (every time I say the name, something comes up from the back of my throat), you are wasting at least $500 that could’ve been spent on presents if you had bought a nice Fraser fir from the High Country.

And quite frankly, who could take seriously a decorative star or angel hanging upside-down from the bottom of an inverted tree?

So I say to you, my fellow citizens of the High Country, every time you see a minivan or SUV driving off the mountain with a Christmas tree or two tied to the roof, be sure to salute it. That vehicle holds a family who refuses to embrace trendiness for trendiness’ sake.

Our Fraser firs are like multicolored beacons in the night, shining out from living rooms across this great land, welcoming Santa’s sleigh like hometown holiday runway lights. And our Christmas trees refuse to stand on their pointy little heads.