Not So Sweet 16
Cop Drama 16 Blocks Has Vintage Willis, Little Else

Bruce Willis is one of those actors you know will never win an Oscar until they wheel him out in his nineties and give him a lifetime achievement award. That’s because the Academy doesn’t really know what to do with actors such as Willis, Dennis Quaid, and Bill Paxton. They’re quality guys who pull their share of fans into the movie houses of America, but none of them are really known for making those “arty” dramas that the Academy of Motion Pictures loves to love.

Doin’ the perp walk. Mos Def and Bruce Willis star in the new cop thriller 16 Blocks.

Such is the case with Willis’ latest cop drama, 16 Blocks. Willis plays Jack Mosley, an aging cop with a chip on his shoulder, a smart aleck phrase on his lips and a fifth of bourbon in his desk drawer. It’s no new territory for Willis but, let’s be honest about it, it’s the kind of role that he excels in.

Mosley arrives at his New York City precinct at eight in the morning after drinking his way through a shift of standing guard over evidence at a murder scene. Ready to go home and sleep off his hangover, Mosley is ordered to deliver a prisoner from the jailhouse to a courthouse 16 blocks away where he is to give an important deposition.

A few blocks from the precinct, Mosley and his prisoner, a petty criminal named Eddie Bunker (Mos Def), are ambushed by a vanload of gunmen. As the pair escapes into the crowded city streets, the story unfolds about who wants Bunker dead and why Mosley feels the need to keep him alive.

It is all vintage Willis. As tired, gimpy, barely sober cop Jack Mosley, he is facing impossible odds in his effort to get Bunker to court on time to sink the bad guys. But it is, of course, Bruce Willis, so you don’t want to bet against him. His Mosley is craggy and grumpy but manages to outsmart his opponents at a few critical junctures.

Mos Def, one of the many young rappers now making a successful transition to acting, is perfect as the slightly-out-of-the-loop Eddie Bunker. With a childish lisp and optimist’s view of his own dire situation, Bunker is a character that is outrageous yet believable. Def also holds his own in the snappy comeback department, even when paired with Willis, a true master of the quick retort.

16 Blocks manages to be exciting and original for the first two-thirds of the race before running out of steam with the finish line in sight. What it does have going for it is a somewhat original premise and some fantastic location shooting in the streets of downtown NYC. The film, however, gets a handful of demerits for some really two-dimensional bad guys and a very predictable ending involving a tape recorder.

16 Blocks is not the greatest film in Willis’ filmography, and after gems like Sin City and The Sixth Sense it feels like a letdown. It is, however, ten times better than The Whole Ten Yards.

16 Blocks is rated PG-13 for violence, intense sequences of action, and some strong language. It is currently playing at Regal Cinemas in Boone.
The Aristocrats

Okay, I’m talking to the adults out there. You kids put down the paper or turn to the Gordon Katz cartoon on the opposite page. Are the kids gone? Good. Okay, how many of you adults out there like a good old-fashioned dirty joke? If you do, and you pride yourself on not letting any bad words bother you during the telling of said dirty joke, then there’s a new DVD for you.

The movie is called The Aristocrats and it is named after the punchline of an ancient Vaudeville-era joke that is the centerpiece of the film. Produced by Penn Gillette and Paul Provenza, The Aristocrats features over 100 comedians talking about and telling the joke. The joke itself is not really very funny but hearing some of the funniest people in show business riff about it for 90 minutes is certainly worth some hearty laughs. As it turns out, some of the nastier versions of the joke come from some decidedly unexpected people. Bob Saget, best known for his family-friendly wholesome work on Full House and America’s Funniest Home Videos, goes for the blue medal as he tells probably the most foul-mouthed version of the joke in the film. And comedienne Sarah Silverman confirms her reputation as Miss Princess Potty-Mouth, even as she earns the wrath of celebrity interviewer Joe Franklin.

Not for the easily offended or faint of heart, The Aristocrats is un-rated and available at area video rental stores.