The Boring Apocalypse
Silly script dooms The Day the Earth Stood Still remake

Just because a movie is a remake of familiar classic film doesn’t give it a pass for being predictable. In fact, if a filmmaker is willing to spend the time, money and energy necessary to remake an old film, he owes it to fans of that film to infuse it with something new that adds to both versions of the movie.

The new version of The Day the Earth Stood Still adds color and 21st century special effects to the 1951 original, but very little else.

Written by David Scarpa and directed by Scott Derrickson, The Day the Earth Stood Still stars Keanu Reeves as Klaatu, an alien life form inhabiting a human body so that he can tell the human race that its time is up. In the original version of the movie, the aliens were concerned that humans’ newly acquired nuclear capabilities would be taken to other worlds. In the new version of the movie, the aliens are concerned that humans and the planet earth cannot coexist. In this “green message” version, humans are to be eliminated from the planet so that the other plants and animals can live free from man’s pollution.

The Day the Earth Stood Still starts promisingly with the federal government’s abduction of Dr. Helen Benson (Jennifer Connelly), an astro-biologist, and dozens of other scientific experts. The government needs them to foment a plan to stop a fast-moving interstellar object on a collision course with Manhattan. When the object mysteriously slows down as it approaches earth, the scientists realize that it must be controlled by aliens intelligent enough to master interplanetary travel.

A large glowing sphere lands in the middle of New York’s Central Park and a semi-humanoid being emerges from it. Just as it begins to reach out, shake the hand of Dr. Benson and utter the immortal words, “Take me to your leader,” the military shoots it. In the hospital, the alien reveals itself to have three sets of DNA: an outer, womblike casing, a human body and an alien brain. The body part looks and sounds exactly like Neo from the Matrix trilogy.

Up until the moment where Klaatu is interrogated by the government, The Day the Earth Stood Still is an exciting sci-fi yarn with a human story not undone by needless special effects. After this point in the movie, the film devolves into a predictable, action-packed chase flick.

Although Reeves as Klaatu and Kathy Bates as U.S. Secretary of State Regina Jackson are extremely miscast in their roles, it is the script that is the film’s ultimate curse. Every time the movie veers toward the human side of the story, whether it be Benson’s bratty and fatherless boy Jacob (Jaden Smith) or Klaatu’s burger joint encounter with the human-loving alien Mr. Wu (James Hong), the dialogue is so syrupy and contrived that it makes ones eyes roll upward.

Emotionally, most of the audience’s sympathy will lie with Dr. Benson as she simultaneously deals with a flip-flopping alien leader and a sassy young boy, both of whom could use a good slap across the face. The fact that neither of them finds Connelly’s palm print across his cheek is just one of many disappointing aspects of this film.

I’ve often contended that good comedies need an injection of seriousness and that good dramas need a moment or two of levity. That said, The Day the Earth Stood Still is completely humorless. How can you cast John Cleese as Professor Barnhardt without giving him the opportunity for at least one good “nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more?”

The Day the Earth Stood Still is rated PG-13 for some sci-fi disaster images and violence. It is currently playing at Regal Cinemas in Boone.

My Top 20 Sci-Fi Films

When well-crafted, science-fiction is just about my favorite genre of movie. Without going into unnecessary detail about why these are among my favorites of all time, here’s a list of my top 20, along with the year they originally were released:

20: The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957)
19: Brazil (1985)
18: Minority Report (2002)
17: The Fifth Element (1997)
16: Westworld (1973)
15: The Truman Show (1998)
14: Terminator 2 (1991)
13: Children of Men (2006)
12: Sunshine (2007)
11: Andromeda Strain (1970)
10: The Matrix (1999)
9: Serenity (2005)
8: Galaxy Quest (1999)
7: Silent Running (1971)
6: 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
5: The Prestige (2006)
4: Robocop (1987)
3: Aliens (1986)
2: A Clockwork Orange (1971)
1: Blade Runner (1983)