News of the Weird

Compiled and Ridiculed by Joel Frady

Eagles, Bengals tie
For the first time in six years, a National Football League game has ended in a tie. Sunday's game between

the Philadelphia Eagles and the Cincinatti Bengals was played to the bitter end, with the 15-minute overtime period ending on a Bengal's missed field goal and a failed Hail Mary by the Eagles to seal the 13-13 stalemate.

It was the first time since 2002 that an NFL game ended in a tie, when the Atlanta Falcons and Pittsburgh Steelers finished at 34-34. According to the players and coaches, the match felt like a loss for both squads - and their fans.

"No NFL game should ever end in a tie," one fan said, "and if I really wanted to enjoy the pointlessness of a competition without a victor, I'd just watch soccer."

Man hit by train lives
A train conductor in Alabama spotted a man lying across railroad ties last Thursday and began to frantically sound the horn and hit the brakes - to no avail. Eight of the coal train's rail cars ran over the man before the conductor was able to stop, but that didn't seem to phase 61-year-old Arnold Romine.

Firefighters soon found Romine, still lying on the tracks, almost completely unharmed. He was transported to Hunstville Hospital and treated for minor injuries.

Romine later said he was testing a theory - with surprising results.

"My wife told me I could sleep through a train wreck, but I never believed her," he said. Based on another statement by his wife, Romine said his next goal is to test her theory that he can "eat a horse."

Boy's $5 bribe fails
An 11-year-old boy in Fort Pierce, Fla., didn't want to take his medication. When his mother attempted to talk the boy into taking the medication, he enforced his "no means no" stance by hitting her in the head with a saw.

The hit left the woman with a minor laceration and a major temper, and as she turned to call the authorities the boy pleaded for her not to call, then offered her $5 to put the phone down.

The bribe was an offer that she could refuse, and authorities have charged the boy with aggravated battery.

"Five dollars might cover minor bruises," the boy's mother said, "but once you break the skin with a potentially deadly weapon, you have to pony up to get out of trouble." She later figured that he would have had to have saved his allowance for seven years and four months to stop the call.

Mayor sick of "stupid" town
St. Anthony, Idaho Mayor Bill Beck walked into the city's council meeting and announced his resignation to the audience. Although the resignation caught council members off-guard, it wasn't half as surprising as what followed.

Beck followed his resignation announcement by telling the audience that he was tired of people who were "too stupid to understand" the town's business. He then told the council members that they were too stupid to work with. Some members of the audience cheered after his statements.

Although the town is now forced to look for a new mayor, Beck isn't worried. When reporters contacted him to discuss his resignation, his only comment: "Life is good."

Beer truck driver arrested for DUI
A truck driver hauling a 45,000 pound trailer of beer flipped the truck on Friday evening, blocking a ramp on Interstate-70 in Colorado for seven hours. Authorities say that they had to empty the trailer before they could flip the truck back onto its wheels, but that it wasn't the beer in the trailer that was the problem.

Local police say that the real problem was the beer in the driver, who was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving. No injuries were reported, but the driver was taken to a detoxification facility.

"We know that some drivers have been known to enjoy their cargo," one officer said. "That's why we're recommending this driver only be assigned to deliver products that won't affect his sobriety."