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Compiled and Ridiculed by Joel Frady
Spell "Debacle"
Morgan Sims, a sixth-grade student from Jonesboro, Ark.,
knew how to properly spell "debacle" at the Craighead
County Spelling Bee on Friday - then learned the meaning of
the word.
Sims properly spelled the word to win the county's spelling
bee, taking home a first-place trophy and a $200 savings bond.
But her school, Buffalo Island Central's West Elementary, forgot
to pay the $100 per building entry fee to the Scripps National
Spelling Bee. Since the fee is required for a contestant to
move past the county level, Sims will not get to advance; instead,
second-place contestant Elizabeth Kaffka of Valley View Intermediate
will compete at the state level.
When asked about the incident, Sims said she wished the final
word had been "fortunate," "victory" or
"miracle."
We need lemons
A 66-year-old man in Boynton Beach, Fla., was so distressed
after a fast food restaurant ran out of lemonade that he took
his complaint to the authorities. He didn't get the response
he wanted by dialing 9-1-1, however, as police arrested him
for misuse of the 9-1-1 system.
"A fast food establishment running out of soda, lemonade
or tea is not our concern" one police officer said. "It's
not like Buffalo Wild Wings ran out of beer."
Teen's massive candy bill
A teenager in Middleton, Ohio, almost pulled off the greatest
candy heist of the 21st century - before his former high school
found out. Authorities said that the 18-year-old used a purchasing
number from Middleton High School to order more than $37,000
of candy bars and lollipops from The Goodies Factory.
The Goodies Factory became suspicious and contacted the school.
The school contacted authorities, who told the candy company
to send an empty box since the teenager had listed his home
address for shipping. He was arrested shortly after the delivery.
The teen faces two counts of felony telecommunications fraud.
When asked why he did it, the teen told police that "he
just wanted to get that final Golden Ticket."
Forgotten keys
A burglar who nabbed more than $400,000 worth of pharmaceuticals
from a pharmacy in Upper Darby, Penn., had all the right moves.
He disabled the alarm and surveillance systems during the Feb.
1 heist, leaving authorities "stumped."
But the burglar, 43-year-old Thomas Ferkler, made the mistake
of leaving his keys hanging from the trunk of his car. Ferkler's
neighbor's noticed, and police found a gym bag in the trunk
that contained the stolen drugs. There was also a tag on the
bag that displayed Ferkler's name and address.
"I have to give it to him, the plan was almost perfect,"
one policeman said. "It's just another example of a rabbit
getting lazy and letting the tortoise catch up."
Off the bike!
Police in Cincinnati, Ohio, arrested a 52-year-old man
on Sunday after they saw him swerving erratically all over the
road - on a bicycle. The man told authorities that he had only
consumed one beer, but a blood alcohol test indicated that he
was three times over the legal limit for operating a vehicle.
The man tried to argue that it wasn't a "vehicle,"
at which point he was informed that you can be cited for traveling
drunk on a bicycle, lawn mower, moped or even a horse.
Deer visits PetSmart
PetSmart employees are used to customers enjoying the store's
"bring your pets with you" attitude, but weren't quite
sure what to do when an injured deer entered the store on its
own.
The doe, which had a wound on its hind leg, ran into the stock
room at the store in Rossford, Ohio, but was unable to enter
the shop area. Police and a veterinarian were called to the
scene, where the deer's wound was fixed.
One PetSmart employee noted that the deer was apparently smart
enough to walk into the pet store instead of the butcher's shop
three doors down.
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