News of the Weird

Compiled and Ridiculed by Joel Frady

Creating a buck
A photograph taken in November of 2008 has proven costly for 19-year-old Marcel Pournier of Burlington, Vt., who was arrested months later for killing an antlerless deer and hunting at night.

The picture showed Fournier posing with what appeared to be a 10-point buck, but upon closer investigation it was found to be a doe. Fournier admitted to bolting the antlers on the doe and then checking the kill in as lawful game.

Fournier admitted to authorities that he had "quite a time" drilling and fastening the antlers to the deer. Authorities noticed that the antlers were too big for the deer and moved oddly when grabbed.

Fournier was sentenced to 10 days in jail and won't be eligible for a hunting, fishing or trapping license for about three years. Col. David LeCours said that add-on antlers are local legends, but it's the first documented case in the state.

"Everyone always thought it was just a funny story when I was growing up," he said, "but we never thought we'd meet someone crazy enough to actually do it."

Growling man
Police in Masfield, La., said they arrested a 32-year-old Texas man on Thursday, March 12, after construction workers reported that the man was crawling on his hands and knees, eating mud and growling like a dog. A woman who accompanied the growling man from Texas confirmed that he had been eating dog food and wandering around.

Police seized a small bottle of PCP, a half-pound of marijuana and a quarter ounce of crack-cocaine during the man's arrest.

The man was booked with both possession and intent to distribute all three substances, but locals have their own superstitions.

"Everyone thinks he was just a werewolf who got too messed up," one man said, "and when the full moon disappeared, he just kept on rovin' and growlin'."

Tae Kwon Do robbery
A robber in Fox Point, Wis., got a rude welcome when he targeted a local Tae Kwon Do studio. The robber attempted to sneak into the studio while the owner, Tae Known Do master David Kang, held a private lesson.

Kang heard noises in his office and found the robber in his closet. Kang grabbed the robber by the neck, sat him down and called the police. The robber then attempted to escape. But Kang ran the man down and grabbed him by the neck again. Kang held the man by the neck until police arrived.

Kang later gave advice to his would-be robber, telling him to "stop and consider exactly who you're robbing." He noted that the man got lucky, however, since Kang did not use any dangerous crescent, hook, front snap or double-side piercing kicks.

Seatbelts for dummies
A Seattle commuter who crafted a dummy in order to use the popular high-occupancy vehicle (HOV) lane on the expressway was pulled over on Wednesday, March 11, and ticketed for $124. He was pulled over by a state trooper, but the trooper didn't originally realize that it was a dummy - instead, the trooper initiated the traffic stop because the dummy's seat belt was not buckled.

The driver acknowledged that he was using the dummy in an attempt to beat traffic. He created the dummy by placing a rain jacket on plastic piping and placing a mask of Gandalf, the wizard from The Lord of the Rings, on top of it with a beard and a baseball cap.

The trooper confiscated the dummy, and gave the driver the ticket and some advice.

"I reminded him that fake people need to wear seatbelts too," he said, "and that if he wants to continue to beat traffic in the HOV lane, he could give carpooling a shot."

Quit smoking on your time
Anyone trying to use Michigan's Tobacco Quit Line since Monday has found out that the hotline has accomplished what many smokers want to do: quitting. The hot line, which opened a week earlier, had received more than 65,000 calls in five days from callers wanting the free nicotine patches, gum and lozenges that were offered,

Michigan state officials said that the hot line has run out of free products and will open again in October, when the state's new budget year starts.

The move has angered many would-be quitters.

"What kind of example is that setting," said one smoker. "Am I really supposed to get help fighting a life-long addiction from people that can't stay open a week?"