Hold up
Retired police officer John Comparetto was surprised when he was held up in a men’s room at a convention center. The robber got Comparetto’s money and cell phone, but Comparetto and some friends hampered the robber’s getaway.

Those friends, as the robber soon found out, were the 300 narcotics officers who had gathered for a convention. Officers captured the robber as he attempted to hail a taxi.

Comparetto told reporters he was robbed by “probably the dumbest criminal in Pennslyvania.”

He later noted that he might not be the dumbest, however, after incidents in which a man tried to steal guns from an NRA meeting and a woman tried to steal raw meat from lions at the zoo.

Off the stool!
28-year-old Kile Wygle of Newark, Ohio, had the ultimate ride for a night out: an old bar stool that he attached to a deconstructed lawn mower. Unfortunately for Wygle, he had one too many before riding his bar stool home.

Local police got a call about a wreck and found Wygle, who crashed his stool, with minor injuries. Wygle told authorities that he had consumed 15 beers before driving the stool, which can go up to 38 mph.

Wygle was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated, but pleaded not guilty to the charge. He noted that he doesn’t plan to stop driving his stool, either, since he doesn’t have to get off of it when he gets to the bar.

No fries for you
Workers at a McDonald’s in Salt Lake City were just trying to explain one simple rule to a customer on Sunday morning: we’re not serving lunch yet. But the occupants of a white Dodge Intrepid in the drive-through lane weren’t happy with the answer, and showed their protest over “breakfast hours” by exiting the car and blasting the drive-through window with a sawed-off shotgun.

No one was injured and the car departed the restaurant immediately. Restaurant workers noted that the incident was confusing.

“I know people love our hamburgers and French fries,” he said, “but I’ve never seen such violence over such small potatoes.”

Pink water
Residents in Painesville, Ohio, got a surprise on Saturday night when an equipment malfunction at the local water plant led to a chemical overload that turned the water pink.

The incident occurred when too much potassium permanganate, used for odor and taste control, was released into the system.

The problem has been fixed, but many locals are still frightened by the idea of pink water.

“It was bad enough getting pink water at the restaurant because they attach the water to the same sprocket as the Hi-C fruit punch” one man said, “but at least that water didn’t stain all my white shirts pink.”

Where am I?
A 21-year-old employee for JetBlue took an unexpected trip on Saturday after falling asleep in a luggage compartment – in New York City. But the luggage compartment was locked while he was sleeping, and he was found a short while later by baggage handlers in Boston.

The man was not charged and returned to New York shortly after his adventure. But authorities with JetBlue aren’t sure that this is the first time the man has taken an “accidental” flight; his co-workers said that he “fell asleep” last October in a plane bound for Cleveland that landed just in time for a Monday night NFL game between the Browns and the Giants.