News of the Weird
Compiled and Ridiculed by Joel Frady

Take that, Moses
A 42-year-old man in Worchester, Mass., was very upset about a 20-year-old unpaid parking ticket that was preventing him from renewing his license. Instead of arguing his case in a collected manner, the man expressed his anger by knocking over a 150-year-old statue of Moses that stood in the courthouse.

Police say the man heavily damaged the 8'4" statue that was constructed from hollow plaster. The man has been charged with malicious destruction of property and disturbing the piece.

Friends of the man say that the speeding ticket might not have been the only factor in the attack, however, saying that he has been jealous of Moses for years after unsuccessful attempts to hit a rock with a staff and produce water.

The ultimate road trip
Many teenage boys simply visit a friend or relative's house when they run away from home, but a 13-year-old Wyatt McLauglin of Jetersville, Va., went all-out in his escape. He loaded up the family pick-up with food, clothes, his dog and extra propane tanks, hitched the truck to a trailer containing two horses and drove 1,300 miles to rodeo grounds near Weatherford, Texas.

The boy departed on Wednesday, and his parents began to look places they thought their son might go. Their search led them to a gas station in Mount Pleasant, Texas, where surveillance video showed the boy refueling the truck.

The rodeo grounds were approximately two hours from the gas station, and authorities found the teen at the grounds.

Police were unsure of why the boy ran away from home, but were even more confused as to how a 13-year-old can drive 1,300 miles across state lines without anyone noticing.

Parrot takes oath
A judge in Boca Raton, Fla., has issued a peculiar summons in an attempt to settle a lawsuit over custody of a parrot: he has called the parrot to the stand.

The bird, which Angela Colicheski named Tequila when she bought it 13 years ago, flew away three years ago. It landed with Sarita Lytell, who named the bird Lucky.

The two later met at a Dunkin' Donuts and discovered that they both liked parrots, but Colicheski realized that Lytell had her bird. She asked for it back, but Lytell said she was too attached to return the bird.

Lawyers are unsure how useful the bird's testimony will be, wondering if it will actually pick a preferred owner or simply discuss crackers and recite lines from Elvis Presley songs.

What's that smell?
45-year-old Jeffrey Dezeeuw of Sioux Falls, S.D., chose a unique way to express his anger over a traffic citation: he smeared the citation with animal feces, added a note and cash to pay the fine, and mailed it to the Minnehaha County Clerk of Courts.

While Dezeeuw might have just been expressing his first amendment rights, a federal judge felt otherwise and sentenced Dezeeuw to three years of probation for one count of mailing injurious articles. He also added a $500 fine and order Dezeeuw to pay $451 in restitution.

The judge said that, in the future, Dezeeuw should resort to "less disgusting" forms of protesting citations such as picketing, staging a concert or writing strongly worded letters.