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July 2, 2009 EDITION
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News of the Weird
Compiled and Ridiculed by Joel Frady

Make yourself at home
19-year-old Nicholas Truesdell of Cincinnati, Ohio, is no typical burglar. While most people who break into houses try to be discreet, sneaking in silently and leaving as fast as possible, Truesdell took a more casual approach.

The Hamilton County Sheriff's Department announced that they arrested him on Friday, June 26, after the man broke into a four-bedroom house and proceeded to live there for several days. He slept in the master bedroom, watched television, used a computer and drove the family's 2007 Nissan Altima around town.

Truesdell has been charged with burglary and unauthorized use of a vehicle, but his lawyer plans to use the age-old defense that never fails: amnesia. But police aren't biting.

"While it's technically possible that he truly thought it was his house, who did he think the people in the pictures were," one deputy said, "and did he really think that he owns a car bed and four seasons of Dora the Explorer?"

Watch out
Police in Birmingham, Ala., reported on Sunday, June 28, that a 22-year-old woman suffered a broken leg after getting hit by a train. According to reports, the 22-year-old woman was lying on the train tracks in an attempt to "clear her mind" at 7 a.m.

The train was traveling at approximately 10 mph and the train's operator told police he tried to stop. Officers are unsure what the woman was doing on the tracks in the first place.

"I can understand not seeing a car in your blind spot," one officer said, "but I don't know how anyone can miss a multi-ton train that's rattling the tracks you're laying on while honking a loud horn."

Gimme the wheel
A car is a horrible place to have an argument, a life lesson recently illustrated by a 26-year-old man from Des Moines, Iowa. According to local police, the man got angry at his wife while she drove on I-235, at which point he grabbed the wheel and caused the vehicle to crash off the road.

Police say that the wreck was proceeded by a "hissy fit" in which the man broke the rearview mirror off as he kicked the front windshield. Once he grabbed the wheel, the vehicle hit a cement wall followed by a small tree.

The man was charged with domestic assault and is being held in prison as authorities try to figure out what to do.

"We're very thorough in our process of distributing driver's licenses," said a member of the state's Department of Motor Vehicles. "But after this incident, we're wondering if we need to regulate who is allowed to ride in a car, too."

Wrong lock box
Police in Tallahassee, Fla., announced that a 38-year-old man has been arrested after he deposited $200 and illegal substances into his account at the bank's drive-through lane. An employee of Wachovia Bank found the money, along with a small bag containing cocaine and marijuana, and called police.

The suspect was charged with drug possession and released on a $3,000 bond. They were unsure why he attempted to deposit the drugs, but think he might have finally found the key to "keeping his roommates out of his stash."





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